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finding happiness

i haven't wrote anything remotely interesting for the longest time. before, i wrote stuff because i was lonely or bitter about something. i feel like today is a good day to start writing again.

some people are happy and grateful about what they have while others are just plain unappreciative about the good things they are given because they're bored with with it.

it's sad knowing that someone you gave everything to would only take you for granted and discard you in a snap. it's hard to accept someone you trust had betrayed you, leaving you feeling that you'll never be able to put trust in people again. it's especially painful when you've been in a relationship for so long and when it's over, you aren't even considered to be a part of their life anymore, not even as a friend after everything you've been through.

excuses are exhausting to listen to. harsh words are exchanged and can't be taken back. you can't help but let the tears fall. you want to hurt yourself to forget the pain you feel inside.

you then try to hide your pain through your smiles and let everyone else think that you're happy when you're not.

for some, happiness is just a heartbeat away from their grasp but for the rest, they need a vague treasure map to be able to find it. until they do, the sorrow that dwells in the heart will never be diffused.

*sigh*

there comes a point in your life that you feel like you never want to get up in the morning (whatever time of the day that is for you) and you just want to stay in bed and cry. is that what you call depression?

i'm having a hard time coping up with things that went on with my personal life and i find myself unable to talk to someone about it. maybe it's because even with within the anger lies a deep desire to protect the person who caused all this.

i'm finding it hard to appreciate myself now. i don't feel like someone would be able to appreciate me as a woman. i feel messed up, ugly, incompetent and foolish. when i'm with family or friends i try my hardest to smile like i'm okay. when people ask me how i'm doing, i always respond with "i'm fine" when i'm not. 

i've been feeling like this for a while now and i just had to write this down to somehow ease the burden. i'm not looking for advice. i just want someone to hear me out.

to you: you know who you are. i hope you're keeping your word this time around...

i came across this blog from a plurk friend as well as several other people i've been following on twitter: http://gangbadoy.multiply.com/journal/item/415/Important_info_from_a_now-blocked_blog

why in the world are the relief goods donated by other countries not being distrubuted to typhoon victims yet? the original post was from ellaganda.com which is now blocked for unknown reasons. this is yet one reason why we our country cannot progress. we have people in power who are corrupted by the power that they hold. they all have ulterior motives that only seems to benefit themselves. just take a look at what is happening around us now...

now is not the time to be selfish. now is the time to help those in need. kahit sabihin n'yong magkaka-inggitan dahil imported sa kanya, sa akin hindi, that's not a valid reason. ibigay n'yo ang dapat ibigay sa nangangailangan.

another weekend ahead

only one more shift to go and it's gonna be a little relaxation time for me. i spend most of my time at work and commuting. very little of my time is spent with my little family and sleeping. i always look forward to weekends since i get to devote my time to my family exclusively. if you would notice, i don't go online much. i have found a way to do now though. later~!

CON-ASS my ass!

No to Conass!

let's all say no to this BS!

cross-postings

lol, multiply still posted my old blogs from lj... haha... anyway, i haven't really posted anything remotely decent lately. i'm content with plurk and facebook updates, so there.

anyways, sean's second birthday is due in a couple of weeks or so. i'm so excited about it. he's growing up so fast. he still hasn't learned how to speak completely coherent words but he does imitate what he finds amusing on tv or from people around the house.

later~

in loving memory of lee xiao fu...

God of Hope, we come to you in shock, in grief and confusion of heartHear the cries of our grief for it is beyond our understanding and more than we can bear. Help us to find in the knowledge of your loving mercy and give us light to guide us out of our darkness into the assurance of your love. Accept our prayer that as Christopher has been torn from this world, may You receive him into Your safe hands and secure love. We also pray that we may treasure the memory of his life more than the manner of his death. Eternal rest grant unto him O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upom him. May he rest in peace. farewell my brother.....

a new year is here

i have many fond memories of 2008 and i have my friends and family to thank for that. i've had my share of good times and bad but there were so many blessings that came. 2008 was a fun ride for me and i'm hoping for a more exciting 2009.

to everyone, wishing you all the best this year.

WHAT IF YOUR CRUSH SAID THESE TO YOU?

copied from sanzo... <_<

1.Hi how are ya?
`. eto, buhay pa rin...
2. Hey! You wanna go to the mall?!
`. basta ba bibilhin mo yung gusto ko e...
3. I LOVE U..
`. why?
4. Do u want some cookies?
`. yes please :3
5.Can you take me a picture?!?
`. where's the cam?
6.Help me in my homework!
`. it'll cost ya...
7. Here's my gift to you.
`. thank you...
8. Let's just be textmates
`. okay...
9. Do you want me to buy you an ipod?
`. sure, why not?
10.Let's sit together in the bus.
`. why not?
11. Hi baby
`. where's the baby?
12. Your still cute!
`. ay, oo nga ano!
13.I still LOVE you!
`. why?
14.Can I visit your house?
`. magdala ka ng makakain mo ha?
15.Do you love me?
`. what is this 'love'? :P

Post this as..
WHAT IF YOUR CRUSH SAID THESE TO YOU?
If you don't post it, you will lose your loved ones now

just around the corner...

the holidays are fast approaching and i'm having difficulty thinking of what to give the special people in my life for christmas. i haven't been able to give them any gifts before because i didn't have any money to buy stuff before.

i guess what's important is the thought of giving and not how expensive the gift is. still, it would be nice to give them something they would keep for a long time. i'm also thinking of buying some toys for my little one.